What does it mean to be of Service?
One of the best coaches I’ve ever been privileged to work alongside taught me two very important principles. First, “raise the bar every day” relating to how you show up for each new day you are gifted with. Second, “have a servant heart with no agenda.” Through my life in recovery now for almost two decades it’s become very clear that being of service is a cornerstone for not only my recovery but for everyone’s recovery.
I’m blessed with a group of men that I have entrusted with all of the most intimate parts of my life. I’ll call them Group #1. We meet (via zoom of course) every morning. These men, these mentors, are all men of service to me, as I am to them. We serve one another by simply showing up for each other. Outside of my bride, Stacy Lee, and our children these men represent the most cherished part of my life. Being of service can be even more precarious during a pandemic so this group, these relationships, carry an even greater import to feed my desire for connection. I learned from my friend Bobby years ago that I/we have a disease of isolation and as Bobby suggested, the antidote is community. The way I see it, serving one another in this way is a beautiful way to serve and build a true sense of community.
As a grateful member of Alcoholics Anonymous, I’ve learned so much. Serving others equates to getting out of self. It is, in fact, that simple. Serving as a sponsor is no doubt a primary way to serve and through it AA has built over the past 80 years the most robust self-help organization in the history of mankind. As we embrace these sacred relationships we serve one another without judgment or condemnation.
Service can also be defined by becoming an effective “listener.” Listening is a lost art in my opinion. Serving one another by truly practicing heart-centered listening is maybe the greatest gift we can provide for one another. So often, we can fall into the trap of not truly hearing one another or hearing a few thoughts and trying to immediately fix or render advice as to what they should or should not do. This very human response is not representative of truly serving our relationships with people that are struggling. I find so often that many of us, just desire the gift of being fully heard & understood.
Lastly, I’ve found one of the best ways to serve is to lean into the tough stuff when people are in crisis. You know, when the human condition is telling you to run the other way. Try turning back around and leaning in when no one else will. Serving humanity in this way is very effective and fulfilling. By doing this you will make the world a little better place. Having Servant Hearts with no agenda is how to truly love one another and feel better about yourself along the road to happy destiny.