Communication
June 2023
I start each day by meeting with a group (virtual) of men that have literally helped shape my life. These men serve as both my AA brothers & my accountability group. Let’s just say these men are special and they are wise. They have in many cases helped shape the very landscape of the world of treatment. More than anything, they are men I can and have trusted in every area of my life.
The following quote/question was provided to me by one of these wise men:
Does it need to be said?
Does it need to be said by me?
Does it need to be said now?
My fervent belief is that truly and actively listening is a long-lost art. This is where my very intentional messaging starts.
This is why the three questions above are so very important within every relationship or intervention. How often have you wished you would have held back from the last “peril of wisdom” that crossed your mind? How often have you quickly shaped an answer to a question from a friend or co-worker that had yet to be fully articulated? How often have you brought your prejudice or judgment before hearing the full story? Sounds a little bit like contempt prior to the investigation. Sounds very human.
Pause and practice “active listening” with every situation. Pause and lend your full, uninterrupted, undistracted, unbiased attention to whatever moment you are in. Stem the tide of impatience, and distraction, and completely lend ourselves to one another. As an old dog, I can’t help but believe that this “texting” generation is going to take an already egregiously poor situation and make it worse. However, we can each make a tangible difference.
We all can become very intentional listeners. This is another gift of recovery. Meaning to show up with an open, curious, and grateful heart to all human interaction. Hold a kind & loving space and allow everyone you encounter to simply share their heart. One of the greatest gifts we can give one another is our ability to listen.
Does it need to be said, does it need to be said by me and does it need to be said now? Challenge yourself to show up to every interaction in this way and see where it leads.